BridgeMakers

by Ruth Diaz, Psy.D.

I recently went into Gorilla Tag to explore their environmental design and learn about what kind of culture it was nurturing. As soon as I arrived on the bottom of the cave, feeling clumsy and awkward in my adult body that is not used to crawling on floors only using balled up fists, I was greeted by a player named Brooke. Wordlessly they onboarded me to my gorilla hands and how to use all my 3-digit fingers separately and together. It reminded me of the days when I was a nanny and children would run up in the playground and invite me to come play by touching my hands doing little twirls and dances to lift my spirits and get me to laugh and maybe join in their game.

In less than a minute, I felt like I learned so much about the potential community culture in Gorilla Tag by Brooke’s body language and initiation of trust. By the time they left and turned around to give me a fistbump, I felt goosebumps and chills as I discovered that this fistbump means we had become “friends.” How lovely and touching to remember the wisdom of building trust with mirroring and keeping things simple.

This experience in Gorilla Tag highlighted the profound impact non-verbal communication can have in building relationships. Often, we underestimate the power of body language, facial expressions, and other non-verbal cues in fostering connection and trust. Here’s why mirroring non-verbal communication can be so effective:

Understanding Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication includes gestures, facial expressions, posture, eye contact, and even silence. These cues convey emotions, intentions, and reactions, often more powerfully than words. In virtual environments like Gorilla Tag, where avatars replace human faces, body language becomes even more significant.

The Science Behind Mirroring

Mirroring is a social phenomenon where individuals subconsciously imitate the gestures, speech patterns, or attitudes of another person. This behavior fosters rapport and empathy. When we mirror someone’s non-verbal cues, it signals that we are engaged and attuned to them, which can enhance trust and connection.

Building Trust Through Mirroring

In my interaction with Brooke, their body language and silent guidance spoke volumes. By mirroring their playful and patient demeanor, I was able to quickly adapt and feel a sense of belonging in the game. This mutual non-verbal exchange laid the foundation for trust, making the eventual fist bump—a universal gesture of friendship and approval—feel incredibly meaningful.

Practical Tips for Mirroring Non-Verbal Communication

1. Observe and Reflect: Pay close attention to the other person’s body language. Are they relaxed or tense? Open or closed? Reflect their posture and gestures subtly.

2. Match the Tone: If they are speaking softly and slowly, adjust your speech to match their tone and pace.

3. Maintain Eye Contact: In VR, this might translate to facing your avatar towards the person and using gestures that indicate you are paying attention.

4. Respond to Cues: Notice their reactions and adjust accordingly. If they seem uncomfortable, give them space; if they are animated and expressive, show enthusiasm in return.

5. Be Genuine: Mirroring should not be about mimicry but about genuinely engaging with and understanding the other person.

Conclusion

My journey into Gorilla Tag and the silent yet powerful interaction with Brooke reminded me of the deep connections that can be formed through non-verbal communication. By mirroring these cues, we can build bridges of trust and understanding, even in virtual worlds. The simple gesture of a fist bump from a child in a gorilla avatar taught me that sometimes, the most profound lessons in connection come without a single word.

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